There isn't enough crack in the world for anyone to buy this

"davedave1111" (davedave1111) 01/06/2016 at 10:24 • Filed to: None

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Especially now the seller’s smoked most of it. Optimistic doesn’t tell the half of it.

“Absolutely Solid, Clean, and Straight”

E92M3 > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 10:29

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Can’t you pick from thousands of decent cars for £800 in the UK?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 10:32

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Halve that, maybe.

Cé hé sin > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 10:34

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Looks fine to me.

Most of it hasn’t rusted away yet.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 10:38

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Picky, ain’t ya?

When I was in the US Army in Germany in the late eighties, I worked with British soldiers several times and it was a curiosity to me how certain they were that anything British on four wheels was better than anything else on four wheels. Example, Vauxhall: “Isn’t that a GM car?” I asked. “Yes, but it’s better,” was the answer.

But this car does look good in low resolution...

Cheers.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Cé hé sin 01/06/2016 at 10:46

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Why, on a percentage basis, it must still be at least 98% there. At least.

Leon711 > E92M3 01/06/2016 at 10:50

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My first car was £300 I drove it for a year.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > E92M3 01/06/2016 at 10:53

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It’s a slight myth. Yes there are lots of vehicles available for sub £1k, but generally the ones that look too good to be true will struggle to pass their yearly MOT, and the ones that look bad are just bad. I’m not saying you can’t pickup a gem for cheap in the UK, but they are few and far between.

I happen to have been looking for a fun (not necessarily MOT-worthy or in good order) sub £750 car for quite a while now, and apart from an e39 that slipped away the day before I was due to collect it, there’s been nothing.

davedave1111 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 01/06/2016 at 10:54

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Anyone who joined the British armed forces back then must have had more patriotism than objectivity. Not really a fair sample :)

davedave1111 > Cé hé sin 01/06/2016 at 10:55

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Perhaps there’s some confusion there between selling his car and putting up an ad in the personals column.

davedave1111 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/06/2016 at 10:57

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Even then it’s total CP. One of those in mint condition is worth maybe half what he’s asking, optimistically, on a good day, to someone with more money than sense. This one’s worth about what you could weigh it in for as scrap - although if you’re being generous you could add thirty quid to that as you’re saving the cost of getting an MOT.

davedave1111 > E92M3 01/06/2016 at 10:58

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Yes. This is probably the crackiest crack pipe ad I’ve ever seen.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 11:01

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“Absolutely solid, clean and straight” (except for all the rust, the war-zone-like engine compartment and a price with enough crack to fuel Rob Ford for months)

davedave1111 > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 01/06/2016 at 11:03

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Not quite how I look at it. There are any number of perfectly decent DDs for that money. You pay a bit more for something interesting, fun, or particularly cheap to run, but even so there are loads of options under the asking price of that Rover.

davedave1111 > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 01/06/2016 at 11:05

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The best bit, to my mind, is that even if everything he said was actually true, it would still be CP at two-thirds of the asking price, maybe even half.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 11:11

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It was a great experience mingling with those guys. We were tactical intelligence, though I was a motor pool mechanic. The culture was very different between my unit an theirs; their sergeants were older and meaner and the younger guys were cockier. Like you said, not really a fair sample. The other thing I remember about that group was an obsession with counting empty beer bottles. The success of a party was measured by the number of empty beer bottles. The Americans, I guess, counted empty cases ...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 11:30

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I know cars are valued a bit differently over there, but isn’t that a Honda Civic underneath everything? At least here in the U.S. those tend to hold value better than other cars in the class. Civics of that vintage tend to go for the equivalent of £600-£1000

davedave1111 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 01/06/2016 at 11:32

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I’ve heard it was an interesting time for US-British military interactions, because back then your lot hadn’t been in a warlike situation since Vietnam, whereas our lot had been in the Falklands fairly recently.

‘Stingers turned up in the Falklands and nobody really knew how to use them or what to do with them,’ the DS said. ‘It was just a case of, “Here they are, get to grips with them.” So the boys were sitting around on the grass one day, reading the instructions and having a brew, when over the horizon came a flight of Pucaras. A D Squadron member stood up and put the Stinger on his shoulder. It was like the kid in the old Fisher Price as: “How’s this work then? What does this do?” The bloke was pressing all the buttons to make it fire, and it did. It took down a Pucara. So the first time the Stinger was used in anger was by a Brit firing at an Argentinian aircraft.’

The story didn’t end there. About two years later apparently, D Squadron went over to Germany to the Stinger training centre run by the Americans. The training was in simulators because the weapon was so expensive. The American instructors only got to fire one a year, and had certainly never used it in war.

‘We’ve got this wonderful weapon,’ beamed one of the instructors. ‘Any of you guys seen it before?’

The bloke put up his hand and the instructor smirked. ‘In a simulator, huh?’

‘No, I shot down a jet with it.’

“The other thing I remember about that group was an obsession with counting empty beer bottles. The success of a party was measured by the number of empty beer bottles. The Americans, I guess, counted empty cases ...”

Yup, because your lot didn’t know numbers went up high enough to count the bottles... ;)

davedave1111 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/06/2016 at 11:43

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honda_Con…

And yes, that’s about the only thing it has going for it. But it’s not old enough to be classic, so it’s just an old Honda design, built to a lower standard by Rover’s monkeys.

This Concerto is in much nicer condition, and even so strikes me as a tad expensive at £595: http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C668505

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 12:00

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Admittedy it’s an assumption based on my experiences, but all three cars that I’ve bought for less than a grand have proved buggers when it comes to MOT time.

davedave1111 > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 01/06/2016 at 12:17

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Have you had better luck buying cars for more, though? I’ve bought three cars for under a grand. First was a Carina E that lasted me two years, then failed an MOT on a leaky CV gaiter - cost maybe £600. Then was the sub £300 E30, which was a bit of a wreck, but which I drove for a year and then sold for double what I paid for it, two years later, without any MOT, and having sat under a tree for a year. Most recently the Camry was £550, but that was a ridiculous bargain on Ebay.

Maybe you’re just a bit too ambitious at that price level. I find something like this is the way to go:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1316786311…

If it’s got a full year’s MOT, you’ll get at least a year out of it, and probably more - perhaps with a minor investment in fixing something for next year’s test.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > davedave1111 01/06/2016 at 12:24

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Far less ambitious than you! Mk1 Punto 1.2, MK1 Focus 2.0, MK2 Legacy 2.0 all went tits up in some way or another within the first year. At the time I had no money to fix the Punto or the Legacy, so scrapped the Punto and dropped the Legacy for parts. What can I say, maybe it’s my fault?

davedave1111 > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 01/06/2016 at 12:31

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Dunno, all of those strike me as rather ambitious. 1st gen Puntos and Focuses were three-year cars, so by the time they got down to that price, you were mainly paying for their decent reputation when new. And a Legacy at that price just seems like insanity given the maintenance costs: a well-taken-care-of Legacy would have more than that in recent bills.

pip bip - choose Corrour > davedave1111 01/07/2016 at 04:05

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that’ll buff out